*Wilma walks to the stand, gets sworn in by bailiff Beast and sits down*
Hulk: Mrs. Flintstone, could you please tell this court what happened between you and Professor Xavier
Wilma: Well, one day, I was cleaning the house with Vax, our vaccuum elephant when I suddenly lost my grip on him. I couldnt really explain it, but I completely lost control of my hand.Hulk: What do you mean by "lost control"?
Wilma: Just that. It was moving by itself. Just my right hand. Next thing I know, I had a major headache and I had to wince from the immense pain. Then, I heard a voice that said, "Dont worry, it will be all better soon". Suddenly, I regained control on my hand, but still in pain, I continued to vaccuum, or so I thought.
Hulk: Please explain
Wilma: Well, during that whole time, I thought I was holding onto Vex tail the whole time. I guess during the onset of the headache, I must have released the tail cause when I finally opened my eyes....*begins to tear up*
Hulk: Take your time
Wilma: I wasnt vaccuuming any more. I was pushing Xavier by his penis while he was sitting in his wheelchair.
Hulk: But that isnt all that happened is it?
Wilma: No. When I finally opened my eyes and saw what was going on, I began to scream. But almost immediately, Xavier took control of my hands and covered my mouth with them. Once again, in my head, he said "dont worry, baby. I will have you yelling for joy in a few minutes." Then, he took control of my legs, and walked me into the bedroom. Next thing I know, I beginning feeling the pains of a headache even worse than before to the point that I passed out. When I woke up, my white dress was torn to shreds and I... had been violated. Parky, our audio recording parrot, then played back what had happened. I vomited the rest of the day out of disgust.
Hulk: Did you ever show Xavier any feelings of intimacy?
Wilma: Of course not. I am a married woman.
Hulk: No further questions.
*Hulk sits down and Space Ghost approachs the witness stand*
Space Ghost: So you never showed Professor Xavier any affection?
Wilma: never
Space Ghost: But you have met Professor Xavier before?
Wilma: yes, I believe so, but I dont recall where.
Space Ghost: Mrs. Flintstone, where do you work?
Wilma: At home. I am a housewife.
Space Ghost: Are you sure about that?
*Wilma sits in silence*
Space Ghost: Your honor, I would like to present defense exhibit 23 to the court.
Brak: Proceed.
Space Ghost: The defense would like to also enter in defense exhibit 24, a report by P.I. Hong Kong Phooey. Now Mrs. Flintstone, that report was later found to have been only partial correct. Geico has since denied giving you coverage due to you and your husband's herpetophobia. Can you explain how you managed to get that much money when your vehicle, even as of today, is still not insured?
Wilma: well...umm..
Space Ghost: Let me direct your attention to the report by Hong Kong Phooey. Please read the highlighted portion
Wilma: "Wilma Flintstone was spotted on corner of Brontosaurus and Rex every night during a 3 month span from 8pm to 10pm at the latest. This area is a known prostitution area. The time Wilma would stay there would vary based on how long it took her to pick up a john. People that have paid Wilma include Mr. Slate, George Jetson, Judy Jetson, Shaggy, and Barney Rubble"
Space Ghost: So I ask you again, how did you make all the money you have?
Wilma: Fine, I'm a whore. I'm not proud of it, but I have a little girl that needs to go to college some day. And I dont want her going to that piece of shit community college me and Fred went to. I am a housewife by day prostitute by night, and Fred is a 24/7 idiot. yea, community college really got us places.
Space Ghost: So I guess you arent really fond of Fred then?
Wilma: Fuck no. I mean, he is never home and he spends all day yelling when he is, Dino hates him, and he doesnt care about me. Why do you think I fucked his best friend?
Space Ghost: So is it safe to say you enjoy the company of men when you have free time?
Wilma: yes
Space Ghost: And that is how you met Professor Xavier that night, isnt it?
Wilma: no
Space Ghost: Professor Xavier picked you up and wanted to act out a housewife fantasy since no woman would ever want to marry a bald headed British paraplegic, isnt that right?
Wilma: no. Like I said, I was home and he violated me
Space Ghost: So, Mr. Slate, Barney Rubble, George Jetson..they all "satisfied you", but since Professor Xavier has money and psychic powers, he "violated" you, is that it?
Hulk: objection.
Brak: sustained. watch your step, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: Sorry your honor, but I believe the court has heard what it needed to. No further questions.
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