Professor X: Well, I had just finished teaching a class at the academy. After teaching a class with so many nubile..young......girls......
Space Ghost: um, Professor, the day in question?
Professor X: oh, sorry. Well, needless to say, I had some sexual frustration after class. So I headed down to meet Wilma. I had heard about her from Nightcrawler, one of her regulars. So I went to her, her prices were reasonable, so I decided to hire her. I live in the suburbs and hadnt really had a reason to go into the prehistoric district, so we decided to go to her place. Fred was at a bowling game with Barney that night she told me. Anyways, I dont deny we did some kinky things that night...a few times. But everything was consensual. I mean, for every thing I wanted to do, she added a charge to it, so of course she would have to okay the idea first.Space Ghost: So at no point did you force her to do anything?
Professor X: definitely not!
Space Ghost: Did you ever control her mind?
Professor X: yes, but she was well aware of what I was going to do, 
and I did ONLY what we agreed upon. She was pretending to be a maid, and well... Have you ever seen Scrubs? Well, there was this one episode where J.D. suggested to Turk that he sit on his hand until became numb and then, well, you know. He called it, 'The Stranger'. Well, I wanted the same thing, but why use my hand when Wilma's was right there?
and I did ONLY what we agreed upon. She was pretending to be a maid, and well... Have you ever seen Scrubs? Well, there was this one episode where J.D. suggested to Turk that he sit on his hand until became numb and then, well, you know. He called it, 'The Stranger'. Well, I wanted the same thing, but why use my hand when Wilma's was right there?Space Ghost: And she knew about it?
Professor X: Knew about it?! She charged me $500 for it!
Space Ghost: No further questions
*Space Ghost sits down at the defendant's table and Bruce Banner stands up to question Professor X*
Hulk: So, you say Wilma knew about it the whole time, yet you have no proof you ever paid her.
Professor X: Well, this isnt the time of transaction you keep receipts for.
Hulk: Tell me, how much did you end up paying that day?
Professor X: I think in the end, the whole night came to $4000.
Hulk: And you paid in cash that night?
Professor X: yes
Hulk: We would like to state's evidence 76. This is a ATM receipt for the month of the incident. Professor X, on the night of the incident, how much money did you withdraw from your account?
Professor X: $1500
Hulk: So, if you only withdrew $1500, how did you manage to pay $4000?
Professor X: well, I dont know. I had the money to pay her.
Hulk: I'll give you time to make up a better answer.
Space Ghost: objection
Brak: Mr. Banner, do not insult any one while you are in my court room!
Hulk: Sorry, your honor. Lets move now to the incident with Jubilee.
Professor X: *with a smirk on his face* oh yes *cough cough, puts on a serious face* I mean, yes, what do you want to know
Hulk: Were you at the mall the day of that incident?
Professor X: yes
Hulk: Did you take over her mind that day?
Professor X: no
Hulk: then please explain what you saw that day
Professor X: Well, Jubilee was one of the newer students at the academy. That day at the mall, Jubilee had just finished training in the Danger Room, so she was on edge. Just as she passed a red pole, she must have thought it was a sentinel from the danger room cause she just tried to spark it. Well, she was standing too close to the pole and the sparks reflected onto her clothes and basically destroyed them.Hulk: And the yelling of "I'm a slut"?
Professor X: Well, I imagine she was trying to play it off like nothing had happened, I dont know what she was thinking.
Hulk: So one of your students is nude in a public place, and you dont invade her thoughts to gvie her comfort and help her get through the situation?
Professor X: Like I said, I didnt invade her mind. And even then, I was too distracted by her soft..supple.....milky......
Space Ghost: YOUR HONOR! I would like to confer with my client!
Brak: Sit down, Space Ghost.
Hulk: So, you just happened to be in the same place as Jubilee when she claims to be mind controlled, and when Wilma says she was mind controlled, and when Magneto claims he was mind controlled. Do you think these are all just coincidences?
Professor X: They have to be. I never invaded their minds.
Hulk: Let me, why would Magneto stunt his growth with a metal helmet if you werent invading his thoughts?
Professor X: Well, considering how much Magneto liked playing with metal, my guess is that he tried to absorb some particle of lead as an experiment, got lead poisoning and experienced neurgological problems from it.
Hulk: Or maybe, you invaded his thoughts so much that he decided that dealing with being short was better than having to put up with you!
Professor X: I had nothing to do with his helmet.
Hulk: Sure you didnt. No further questions.
No comments:
Post a Comment