(Eric takes the stand and gets sworn in)
Ernie Keebler: Eric, you dont enjoy Peter Griffin, do you?
Cartman: What do you think, dumbass?
Ernie Keebler: Please answer with a yes or no.
Cartman: No
Ernie Keebler: Why not?
Cartman: Cause they are gay and poor, that's why.
Ernie Keebler: But I thought they would be something you loved.
Cartman: GODDAMMIT! I HATE FAMILY GUY!
Captain Planet: Objection, your honor. Is there a point to this line of questioning?
Ernie Keebler: I'm getting to it.
Aquaman: You better get to it soon. My fish are getting impatient and they are hungry.
Ernie Keebler: You have tried to get Family Guy in trouble before, havent you?
Cartman: Cause I hate those guys!
Ernie Keebler: Didnt you plan on trying to get Kool Aid to break through the wall of the courtroom that day and you would make sure that Peter Griffin would be framed for it?
Cartman: No.
Ernie Keebler: When Kool Aid said no, did you dress up as Kool Aid and break through the wall yourself?
Cartman: You god damn hippie! I didnt do it!
Ernie Keebler: Have you ever dressed up like Kool Aid before?
Cartman: I dont know.
Ernie Keebler: Your honor, at this time I would like to present evidence labeled as Defense 3
Aquaman: Proceed.
Ernie Keebler: Eric, who is the person in this picture:
Cartman: me.Ernie Keebler: And why were you dressed like that?
Captain Planet: Objection, irrelevant.
Aquaman: Sustained.
Ernie Keebler: Well, it is hard to deny the resemblance between you and my client though, isnt it? No further questions for this witness.
Captain Planet: Let me ask you this, Eric. Have you ever talked to Kool Aid before?
Cartman: no.
Captain Planet: Have you ever seen Kool Aid before today?
Cartman: Once, at Mr. Jefferson's. He was a guest of honor.Captain Planet: And what did you do that day?
Cartman: We played on a train, climbed into a tree house, things like that.
Captain Planet: So you have nothing against Kool Aid, do you?
Cartman: No
Captain Planet: Were you, in any way, responsible for the breaking of the courtroom wall that day?
Cartman: fuck no. I was in South Park, on the other side of the world. How the hell would I get to Quahog? Last time I travelled, I took my tricycle from South Park to LA and nearly died on the way. I'm not doing that again.
Captain Planet: No further questions.
Ernie Keebler: Redirect, your honor.
Aquaman: Go ahead.
Ernie Keebler: You have travelled by other means before, havent you?
Cartman: yeah, that Shitty Walk airlines, but it took all my money to get that. Plus, Clydefrog is afraid of flying.
Ernie Keebler: Would your mother let you travel to Quahog if you wanted?Cartman: She is never home, so she wouldnt even know.
Ernie Keebler: I'm finished with this witness, your honor.
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